engl101 substantial revision for writing project 1

Make a substantial revision to earn back 1/3 of a letter grade, revise and resubmit on Bb Writing Projects within a week of receiving your initial grade. To earn the extra credit, resubmit your revised project and, in the “Add Comments” box on the Bb Writing Project 1 submission form, explain or describe how you have revised your paper from the previous version.

1- Comma

2- Avoid Expletive Constructions–Try not to start sentences with “There is,” “There are,” or “It is.” Before: “There are many factors in the product’s failure.” After: “Many factors contributed to the product’s failure.” Work on fixing expletive constructions.

3- Only quote what is important; quote only what that particular source can say. What does a source’s authority offer them the privilege to say?

4- Try to minimize “be verbs” (am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been) in favor of more concrete and descriptive verbs. You may need to reconstruct the sentence in the active voice.

5- Active Voice: When a sentence includes “be” verbs, recast the sentence to omit the verb.

Before: “The meeting was seen by us as a ploy to delay the project.”

After: “We saw the meeting as a ploy to delay the project.”

6- Avoid Vague Nouns: Phrases formed around general nouns such as “aspect,” “degree,” and “situation” clutter sentences.

Before: “She is an expert in the area of international relations.”

After: “She is an expert in international relations.”

7- More on activism: how your group communicates with their audiences, methods of persuasion, social media analysis, etc.; this assignment is asking for more than just topical information. Help us better understand who is fighting for/against this issue.

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